I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
