I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want her autograph on my taint
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
