So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
