The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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