maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize