I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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