I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
