I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
