Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
