i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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