I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
