apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Randomize
