my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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