Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
