I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
