I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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