How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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