My brain says no but my pants say off.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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