i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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