the day after is always just damage control
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
