Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
