Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Don't make out with my wife yet
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
