You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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