Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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