JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
