My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Still dying that you shit outside
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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