you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
