It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I would fuck him just for his dog
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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