This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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