if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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