the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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