Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
