my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
