nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
