I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
where does the pee come out of this thing
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
