The maid of honor just puked.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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