I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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