This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
