Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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