Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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