So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
