PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
