he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just blew my weed a kiss
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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