trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
