enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
