end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
