Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
