he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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