TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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