I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize