...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
