he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
