yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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