Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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