I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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