with your own penis?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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