Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
