I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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