The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
