he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize