Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
