I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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